feelings tired confused tranced powerless weak not really alive anymore
a dead feeling in my heart but my brain still works feverishly
stop please
tired don't want to think anymore thinking makes me cry not again cried too much today
void of feelings unfocused eyes, brain unkempt hair slow fingers
don't want to face anyone alone loneliness comforts me don't have to smile and pretend to be okay too tired to be puppet today
cried already screamed already angry already now just
tired drained
it's no end of the world yet i'm sad i'm done crying still they roll from my eyes
cannot control anything anymore just too tired
hope but a glimmer confused should i be hopeful?
am i still me... big shirt boxers air con tears
tired.
chiiyo's comments :
This was written when I was going through a particularly tough period for me, emotionally. Something was happening to me that I did not want, could not control, and I couldn't even go down fighting. I was depressed, but not suicidal, though at times I felt like hope was non-existent, and other times I did not even dare to hope, for fear that once I did, it would jinx it all, and I would fall even further. From that period, I've only chosen to show this poem, because I felt it was the most representative. It reminds me a bit of the rambling poems I used to write, but a bit more affected, a bit more intense, a bit more real. I wasn't rambling about some philosophical subject, I was simply writing down thoughts, feelings, images, that came into my mind.