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hating myself: part 2

I.
I lie in that
hospital
bed
wondering whether
I still hate myself
wondering whether
he still hates
me.

II.
"slut."
"cheap."
"bitch."
"flat."
"cold fish."
he called me all of that
in front of his friends
boasting how he caught
me
the naive
ugly
flat-chested girl
"who thought she could match up with
Zing."
his dream girl.
Zing.
and what hurts the most
was that he called me names
when we were still
dating.
"are you alright?"
my friend asked
he who told me
all that
I didn't know
whether to be
grateful
or
hurt.
he rambled on
and on
and on
"we'll punch him
and kick him
in the groin"
I nodded
mechanically
trying
struggling to
recover from the
shock.
how could he do this to me?
I hate him.

III.
six months later
I saw him
at the bus stop
he looked the same
he acted the same
I shied away
I turned away
I hoped that he didn't
recognise
me.
I hate him
still.
but.
I can't do anything
helpless.
helplessly
watching him walk away
without an explanation.
do I still hate him?
I...
I...
I don't hate him.
anymore.

chiiyo's comments :
This poem was written some time after my suicide attempt, triggered when I met my ex-boyfriend once more. He had been in Australia studying, so I had spent a good amount of time picking up the pieces and growing into a different person before I saw him again. I had started hating him then, because I found out the other side of the truth: that he didn't treat me like a girlfriend, but more of a prize, something to demean and boast about in front of his friends. Possibly the most insulting comments he had made to a friend of mine were the ones insinuating that I was a loose woman. So I began to realise that giving him up, might have been the wisest thing I've ever done. I would spend days when I walked near his old school imagining situations when I would see him when he came back to visit friends, and I would do something appropriately humiliating to him. Over time, it became so that I would envision myself not humiliating him, for my heart had softened, and the comments did not hurt so with the passing of time, but I would, in my imagination, demand an explanation of why he had done what he had done. But the strange thing was, after an even longer period, I stopped even those situations. So I was caught off-guard when I finally did meet him one day, at a bus-stop. Strangely enough I started to hide. I realised I didn't want a confrontation, something that would be embarrassing for both parties. And when I saw him leave the bus-stop without noticing me, I realised that I no longer hated him. I still feel anger when I remember what he had said about me. But I believe vengeance has been exacted. I had made him upset, maybe not sad, but upset nevertheless, when I dumped him first, so in a way, I feel like the hatchet has been buried. So if you ever read this, Nicholas Chong, keep that in mind.



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