the bebop brigade review

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Case Number 014. Ricepaper
Site Owner: Lili
Finished on: June 1, 2003
case number: 014
case verdict: released and dismissed

Head Bounty Hunter Ed
To hate me is to love me!

I would like to apologize in the lateness of your review. It was done by another reviewer who has left us and does not want the review to be posted, so I had to go in and redo it this weekend.

Layout
It's very plain, a little too plain, but it serves it's purpose well enough. Other than the very little bit of grey and pink for the text and tagboard, everything is white, which I'm not a big fan of. I would've liked to see just a little graphic, maybe in the top left corner or something. Just anything to add some pizazz to your layout!

Thoughts
I think that these could've been a bit longer. I know that when it comes to some subjects, you can only think of so much to write, but the things that you've wrote about have such broad spectrums to expand on, you could most definitely think of or find more to write about. My philosophy on things is, unless you can write at least 400 words, it's not worth writing about. Other than that, just keep coming up with more things to write about.
In your contempt, I thought that I'd let you know that instead of "seizes" in the first line, it should be, "it never ceases to amaze me". What you have there right now is like having a seizure. Not exactly the same meaning, although I did crack a smile when I first read it.

Stories
I'll be honest: I didn't read them all, but what I did read was good. They were very interesting and original ideas, I just wish that they were longer. Well, the first story was long with all of the chapters, but you know what I'm saying, right?

Poems:
I like how you describe when you wrote each poem and what stage of your life you wrote them in. My favorite types of poems are your angry at the world poems. They have a lot of emotion packed behind them. Everything on this page is well organized and looks nice.

Misc
I would've personally gone more in depth with the lyrics, maybe even made their own section, seeing as how you have quite a few of them. I like how you give commentary for each one. And just so you know, the song by the Goo Goo Dolls, "I'm Still Here", is from Treasure Planet, not Treasure Island. There's you some nice, useless, Disney knowledge. I'm just cram packed with it. The profiles are as long as some of your stories, and longer than most of your thoughts. See, if you can write that much for just a character profile, there has to be something you can do for the thoughts section.

Doodles
Nicely organized, using real thumbnails. I like how you use alt tags to give a description of the image. Quite a few people don't, and it is rather annoying.

Flash Movies
I suggest making more of these if you have time. With practice, you could become rather good at it. I think that flash movies would be a nice addition to your already creative site.

About
I would suggest splitting up the contents on this page onto subpages. Usually, it would be okay to have all of this info on the same page, but there is quite a bit here, which means a great deal of scrolling. Besides, this page would look better organized split up.

Overall
I think that your site is nice and interesting. I think that there is more you could do writing wise to keep people entertained, but otherwise, not bad. I would also improve on the decorative quality of your layout, to make things more attractive to the visitor. But other than that, you have a solid site with for the most part solid content that kept me entertained. This site was released and dismissed.

chiiyo's comments :
This was actually a surprise review, because I submitted the first design, and because of some trouble and misunderstanding, Ed went ahead and reviewed my second layout, which I found extremely touching and grateful. So this review came back first for the second layout, and I touched up a lot of the second layout as a result. Ed was the first one to tell me that the layout was plain, and I hope I have added some pizazz to my layout this time around! I have kept her comment about something needing 400 words at least to be worthy of writing very close to my heart, and nowadays my articles... are far too long... *dots* And after the embarrassing review, I have tried my best to proof-read everything I write, and now I use a spellchecker on everything I write, from code to comments. She gave me a lot of encouragement for my writing section, and I'm always in quite desperate need for some kind of encouragement for that nature... >_< I just don't have the confidence I used to have regarding my work... So even though her review wasn't very general or covered everything, I get this feeling she really went through my site quite thoroughly to be able to come up with such specific comments... if only her review site still reviewed personal sites...



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