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--> Ricepaper

-> Statistics

- Reviewer - PinkSpider
- Submitted - Sunday, June 1st.
- Completed - Friday, June 13th.
- Author - Lili
- Website - Ricepaper
- Open - Since 13 November 2002 for Ricepaper, and from end 2000 for it's previous version.
- Summary - Personal-writing-art-blog site.
- Time Taken - 2.5 hours.
- verdict... Your site is looking good! While it's not quite "there," it has lots of potential. A few minor changes and you're well on your way to stardom! Keep on going and don't get discouraged, you're almost there!

-> First Impression - 2.5 / 5

While the layout has a beautifully simplistic style to it, overall it is very bland. No splash page, but since nearly every browser will handle your site with ease, none is needed. Honestly there is nothing that would make this layout stand out or memorable.

-> Loading Time - 5 / 5

What can I say? There's really nothing that is a large amount of data to load, so loading time was practically none. The only thing that people might have to wait a few seconds for to load is the tag-board, and there is nothing you can do about that.

-> Layout - 6.8 / 10

AS I said before, the layout while good in technical design, is missing a little pizazz. There are a few things you could do just to move it up a notch that would not take long, be hard or ruin the simplistic style of it. The first which I thought would look really nice is having a background image - not in the tables, just in the very back. Something such as thick horizontal stripes, in a very light version of the pinks / orange that you have already been using. Something along the lines of this -> click (this is a thick striped horizontal pink and orange picture). Using just a solid colour would look great as well. However, I think a striped (horizontal, I think vertical would look awkward), or textured background would really help. They also have a textured background called "Ricepaper" which maybe suit your site very well. The white is just so bland and dull. It does not make your layout memorable whatsoever, and honestly looks like you just tried to whip something up in a few minutes.

Another reason as to why you should implement a background, is because the tag-board looks so out of place. Everything that is a background is white. Then you have the tag-board, which is this bright pink. It makes it stand out a little too much and looks awkward. If you do not want a background, consider toning down the pink used in the tag-board.

The layout for the "Verses" is all right. Again, it's simplistic but makes a better impact than the white, because there is a solid colour there. The only problem here, is the link colours look very awkward and are hard to read against the grey.

The navigation of your site is very straightforward - easy to find and easy to follow.

Sometimes you have a paragraph break before the back or top links, and sometimes it is just a line break. Go through and decide which you want to use so you remain constant throughout the entire site. On the good side, these are very nice and make your navigation very user friendly. The top links tend to be a little overwhelming at times and unneeded. For example, in the "links" section, you do not need a top link right after your link buttons. There's no where to go!

In the "doodles" section, when you actually click on a doodle and get the picture plus comment, the text that reads < doodles > is in the beginning a little odd to figure out. Instead of having that be grey text, make it the same colour as the link text to make things constant and easy to recognize. Same with the photos.

The navigation at the bottom of each page is unnecessary, especially considering you have top links. It's one thing to have great, easy navigation but it's another to overdo it. While I would not say yours is overdone, anymore and it will be heading down that path.

I notice that in the links section, you have the titles (for lack of a better word) of each of the subsections in a different colour. However, in most other areas of your site they are italicized. I do not know the reason for the change, but as I always say - consistency is essential.

In the about section, you do talk about how you like the beauty of the white, simplistic layout. Well I generally agree, I must admit I find white to be extremely tiring to look at after a while - when used in mass amounts. Having the tables with the content white, while have the very background a colour would liven things up around here and make the layout memorable. The colours are great, and amount of white is not.

In the site profile section, you need a paragraph break between Likes and Dislikes so that it follows suit with the rest of the page. Same with in the webmistress profile.

When I thought you could not use more white, I come across the guestbook. Yes, it matches the site. Yes, it's wonderful that it opens in a new window, but more white? Your layout is not as dull as the guestbook because you have a lot of links and little bits of colour here and there. The guestbook is just ... bland. Try using a background colour, like a light pink, to make it more appealing.

-> Content - 7.9 / 10

The introduction is straight to the point. I know where I am, and what this is. Your update is organized well. The one thing is you do not really need "go to top" on the update. If you can remove this it would look better. Why? We're already at the top. We really have no where to go. The previous updates section looks nice and is easy to follow. The same with the blog, although I admittedly do prefer a both alpha and numerical date versus a solely numeric one.

Credits discussed in credits section.

The "Versus" are interesting and generally well-done. However, you may want consider arranging the text itself a little better by bolding the name of the character who is speaking. The thing about this section, is I'm not exactly sure what it is. I know it is titled "Verses" but most of these are not what I would really consider a verse. The first entry [top] for example, is more of a scene from a script. Consider writing an introduction paragraph so people know what this part is.

The archives are okay, but maybe have separate page for this instead of directing the person down to the bottom of your blog.

One thing that I just noticed, that you should include in your introduction is that clicking on the heading of a section will take you to a site map of that particular section. I was glad that I found this out, and I'm sure people would use it a lot more if in they knew. It is hard to see that these are links, because they are the normal colour of the text, and what most would consider just headers.

So the site map for the "words" section is good. Now here you have what the verses is in a little better detail. My suggestion - either move the verses into the words section (that's what they are anyway), or at the top of the log, place a little paragraph saying what these really are.

Admittedly I did not go through each and every thought, story, poem or miscellaneous composition. However, I will make general comments on each section individually, and those that I read. In the thoughts, you have a few paragraphs at the top in quotation marks. I realize this is a blog entry, so what you should consider is putting a date. When did you write this? The expansion on what you previously wrote is a great addition, so having the original date you had the first written thought would be interesting.

The stories all seem fine. The one thing I really like is that you have summaries and status. One thing you may consider adding is a rating. Oftentimes people like to know what they're getting into. For the organization, it's great that you have them in alphabetical order, but for even further organization here you might want to list all the Completed stories in alphabetical order, then all the incomplete stories in the same manner.

I really am impressed with the way you did the poetry. How you grouped them into different stages, dated the stages and had a little paragraph about that certain time in your life. It is also good how you commented on them.

The miscellaneous section of the words area was also nicely done. In the character profiles, consider bolding the terms such as "height" and so forth just to make things stand out, and not look so bland.

Moving to the art section. Again, your section map was nicely done and very helpful to explain what I am getting into. I can only emphasize how you should mention that these sections explain the contents of each subsection in your introduction because they are very helpful.

The doodles section is really neat, I like it. I can not begin to express how happy I am that you used real thumbnails! While the black border looks nice and crisp, using one of the pinks that you use for the links would bring a tiny bit more colour into your layout. I love how you comment on each one and say where it is from. Having these open up in a pop-up window is another way to organize this section, but would not add to it any.

The comments of the photos section are basically the exact same as the doodles as both are virtually the same idea, just different content. Same with the skins and although I hate to be so boring, and have really nothing to comment on, same deal with the miscellaneous.

A general comment I have for the art and words sections - try adding some guest interaction. While you have some very beautifully done content, it gets rather tedious after a while. Try having something like a commenting system (Enetation), so that people can add their comments about your work. You seem to like other people's opinions, as you have applied for numerous reviews and have a few instances in which you ask people to drop you a line.

Something such as a contest might be a neat idea to see here. Because you are very good at art, you may consider having a contest dealing with art where you are the judge and person gets something out of it. Their work showcased on your site, I don't really know, but something that could get people involved.

Site section map, same as always. Well-organized and helpful. I like the "random..." bit you have going on there.

The links section - your link me button, with the paper plus the rice equals rice paper made me laugh for probably far too long. Consider making a few more link buttons - you are better at creating them than you give yourself credit for! Try having varying sizes, such as small ones like 32 x 32. You have a really nice list of links here! I only have two things to suggest. The first, use banners for everyone, or no one. While the webcomics and illustrations are okay, it looks awkward having the links at the top with 88 x 31 sized banners, and the links at the bottom with nothing. For the webcomics, I suggest putting a little description of it. You have descriptions for nearly everything else, why did these get left out?

In the about section, if the links are not up yet, do not bother having the description there. Wait until they are ready before you do that. Otherwise it is like false advertising - it just makes it seem like you want it to look like you have more content than you really do.

The site history was done very well - among the best that I have seen. The only thing is instead of just having the thumbnails, consider having the guest be able to click on the thumbnail and see the actual size of the layout - unless of course you no longer have those shots on your computer. Putting a nice border to finish off the shots would be a nice touch as well. Like I suggested for the thumbnails above, try using one of the link colours to add just a little more into your layout.

The "Where are all the images" article was good, admittedly I just skim read through it. Personally, I would have this in the words section, instead of the site section because it really is an article. However, I do understand that it deals with your site layout and why you chose to make it the way you did.

Your profile was written very well and in an interesting manner - doing it in third person. My only complaint is that it is long. Again, I just skim read through it (because of lack of time and also my eyes are killing me due to allergies).

The reviews section is nice (and I love these because it's good to know people actually take what reviewers say into consideration), and I like how you organized the review, then your comments. I was also impressed that you are not hostile and overly defensive like a good chunk of webmasters I come across. It is nice how you provide a screen snap shot of the layout they reviewed and provided links back to each site. Also, thank you for not capitalizing hide's name.

Overall, your content is pretty good. You have quite a bit to do which is nice, although I do recommend a little more for the people to do. I understand this is a personal site, and about you, not necessarily your guests, but a little bit that makes them feel like they have contributed would be nice. A guest will sometimes get a little bored just reading or looking at your art. True, they can just leave, but you do want to keep them, don't you? My biggest suggestion would have to be comments. Get people's responses to your work - it usually proves to be either helpful or rewarding, so what have you got to lose?


-> Technical - 4 / 5

There were not very many things with the technical aspect of your site that you can really expand on, mainly because of the simplicity, which, in the case of .html is not a bad thing. So, there are only really two suggestions that I am going to make.

The first, consider fully aligning your text - not only will it suit your page a lot better, but it makes it look more professional. Why? The majority of written documents are done in this fashion. Novels, magazines, newspapers all use a full justification. It also makes your page look neater because instead of having jagged ends, you have nice, smooth blocks of text. To do this, simply add the following between your <head> and </head> tags.

<STYLE TYPE="text/css">
<!--
BODY
{
text-align:justify;
}
--;gt;
</style>

Providing you have no other justification calls (such as align="left") this should work beautifully.

The other suggestion I will make is to colour your scroll bar. The grey looks all right, but it might be nice to experiment with some other colours and see what suits your page best. To do this, add the following code into style sheet.

body{ scrollbar-face-color : #000000;
scrollbar-highlight-color : #FFFFFF;
scrollbar-3dlight-color : #000000;
scrollbar-shadow-color : #FFFFFF;
scrollbar-darkshadow-color : #000000;
scrollbar-track-color : #FFFFFF;
scrollbar-arrow-color : #000000 }


-> Credits & Disclaimers - 4.9 / 5

Your credits were in very good order. You gave credit and thanked most everyone that contributed. You had a disclaimer on the front page, which is good, but you may consider adding a Copyright 2003. Also, to me the credits seem in an awkward place. Normally, they would be placed under the "site" section, because they are dealing with the contents of your site, however, that is merely a personal preference.

It is also great how in this section you described what you got from that person / site and how it contributed to your site. That is something I hardly see anymore.


-> Language - 3.5 / 5

For the most part your language was good, but I did see a few errors. Watch your capitalization, sometimes you just forgot to capitalize the first letter in a sentence, or name. For example, in the Verses, the top entry is missing a capital "M" on Mei's name in one of the actions. There are also about four errors of this nature on the "miscellaneous" page under words.

There were also a few spelling errors. For example, in your blog, "barbeque" should be "barbecue". In the stories section, "imaginery" should be "imaginary". Startings, is not a word and could read beginnings instead. On the poems page, "transfering" needs a double 'r' - "transferring". "Everytime" and "Songwriting" are actually two separate words. On the photos page, you spelt "artistic" wrong the second time it appears. In the links, "interested" is missing an 'e'. "Sub-section" does not need to be hyphenated. I'm not going to go through and point out every single error, but if you get a stand-alone spell checking application, or write your .html or content in a program such as Crimson Editor, you can do a spell check. Doing a swift sweep of your pages to spot spelling errors would be helpful.

On the poems page, "14" should be spelled out as fourteen. The only reason for this is that it is proper and looks neater. In my opinion, numbers mixed with alphabet characters looks awkward.

Also, a few things could be reworded in a better fashion. For example, go to your Thoughts page and read the introduction paragraph out loud. To me, it seems a little awkward, especially near the end. To fix errors like these, when you have the time, just sift through your page and read things aloud. Sometimes when we read things in our minds they sound find, speaking them really helps.


-> Originality - 3.8 / 5

Everything was your own work, so how can it not be original? However, full originality points are not rewarded just for having your stuff on the web. There are a few little places where you have things I have not seen before, or do not see often. A few of them are in the organization of the site - such as having a section map with each header. The way you grouped your poetry was another thing that was original to you, that I have not seen before.

I really am unsure of what to suggest to give you a little more original ideas in there. All your work is yours, it is not copied from somewhere else, but there are thousands (millions even) of people who showcase their work online in a similar fashion.

The way you write, like with every person, is unique. Constructing your profile like a character profile was also a pretty new idea. One thing that would be really nice to see, is you using one of your photos for a layout. Some of the photography you have there is beautiful, so why not put it to use?


-> Overall & Return Appeal - 3 / 5

This site is good, but could be expanded on. There are good number of little errors that you can fix up to make it that much better. Consider adding a few more things in there. I know in one of the pages you say your site is serious, and for the most part, it is. Perhaps a little humour would help boost it out of "just another personal site with writing and art" kind of thing. You say you really like Laruku, so why not do a little something on them? (Yes, I am an obsessive JRock fan who will push anyone for anything remotely related to JRock. And on a completely different tangent, I love Hyde's new song "Hello").

You really do have a good thing here. You put a lot of time and effort into it, and it shows through most pieces of your work. I think the biggest downfall here is the layout - it is just too stark.

Would I return again? - Likely to read some more of your work and look at more of the photographs.


-> Total - 41.4 / 55

-> Percentage - 75%

chiiyo's comments :
I remember feeling this way when I first got the review, and I still feel the same way now that I'm re-reading this a year and a half on... PinkSpider is a REALLY good reviewer. I remember I had a long list of changes to make to the site after reading her review, and the pure fact she could pick out so many seemingly small mistakes impressed me. She really went through most of my site and really did a lot of work checking things out. I took her suggestion about involving my visitors very seriously, and the commenting system in place was mostly due to her suggestion. I loved how she actually gave me real snippets of code to work with, and I'm using both her suggestions code-wise in this version. Because she liked the site map section so much, I made it so in this version that clicking a main section would lead to a description of each sub-section. I was really sad when hYF went on hiatus, because I really wanted her to review my site again and help me out again... hopefully it will come back soon...



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