yumemiru reviews review

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Review #399 Ricepaper (06/25/03)

Owner: Lili
Score: 75%
Dreampoints: 7/10
"Heavenly"

Reviewed by Amber-lin and Rebo-chan

Amber-lin's review, who's feet really, really itches.....

First Impression: WEll, what do you know, you go right to the main page! Looks like a blog/personal...hm..

Layout: Well, I dunno if you can really call this a layout. It's pretty bland-ish, but everything's neatly organized, so it's all good. Oh, and I don't think you really need that blog link on the side, because you're already viewing the blog in the first place.

Home: you should have the "about" section up first, so people who come here can know what exactly your site is about.
Credits: It's nice that you gave credit to everyone... but, don't you think this should go last? Like after the movies, the credits and the roles the characters were played by go last...
Verses: What the...At first, I didn't get what this was about, until I actually read some parts, so I guess this is the story section. Again, you should really have your "about" section up first.
archives: .. ehh.. I guess this is part of your blog or something.

Words:
thoughts- Hm, this should be interesting!
Contempt: Who the hell is Hsin and Kazoku??
It's gotten to a point where I no longer hate people, but will feel enormous amounts of contempt towards them. And the one sad thing is, I can't believe how much our relationship has changed. To think, we used to be as close as sisters, and now, *sigh*. The amount of contempt I have for her far surpasses anyone else, and it really really scares me. What kind of person am I to feel so much contempt for a person who used to be my best friend? And she's not the only best friend I have deserted. Her case is more serious though, because we've been together for so much longer...
Who are you talking about? Who's "her??" Who's "she??" Anyways, yes, this was a interesting.. except in some parts, I really had no idea who you were talking about. Try explaining a little. ^.~

Okay, I'm not gonna say something about each and every single of your thoughts and ramblings, but overall, this part has a lot of "you" in it, and that's great, but you need to spark this part up a little bit. You say you're freaked out because you have so much.. contempt for others. If you're really freaked out, SHOW it. Start ranting, or something. It's sort of like you're just saying things. You have no flavor or anything. I don't think anyone would really want to read all this. Oh yeah, and in a lot of parts, I really didn't know what exactly you were talking about. Like, in the contempt part, you were saying that you didn't like your best friend anymore or something. You need to explain who your bestfriend is, and what she did! EXPLAIN!!!

Stories: no problems here! Kazoku goes to the shrine was pretty good. Disappointment wasn't all that bad either. I didn't get to read all of it, though. Pretty good descriptions of your stories too-- except you need to summarize the stories a little bit more. Maybe say a little bit about the main characters. For Engagement, and June and a couple of other stories , you didn't really write a summary.

Poems: These poems are definitely worth taking a look at. Keep adding more!

Art: Your doodles are very nice. You should add more. Wow, and you even explained each of your photos and everything in detail. Your flash Chinese advertisement thingy was very cute.

Site o.o you even explained all your links in detail. Probably one of the first sites to come across that explains links this much in detail. It's not a bad thing of course. But, your about page should linked way up in the top under "home" so people can know what this site is about. Your about page is very detailed, and yes, your site is very simplistic and unique. Your profile is very detailed--wooh-- I like Janet Jackson too. haha. ^^

Overall
I can't find the right word for it-- so let's say that you're site is very... peaceful. Serene. You don't use annoying colors or anything, and everything's so simple and nicely organized. Also, you explain everything in detail, and you don't really use hard-core graphics and what not. People can also tell that this site shows who you are-- you don't leave this site feeling, "Uhh... that was pointless." But, I was a little bored in this site-- there was tons of things to read, but you need to spark up things more. Making the viewer laugh is a good thing-- so try putting up funny pics in your photo section. (Of course, you don't have to do that in particular, if you don't want to-- it's just a suggestion)

Content: 11/20 Lots of things to read and such, and it really shows who you are, but I was kinda bored.
Layout: 3/5 It's very simple, but you should at least have some graphic or a banner or something.
First Impression: 3/5
Navigation: 5/5 No probs in navigation!
Originality: 13/15 Like I said before-- lotsa "you" in it, and you really go into detail with everything.
Dream Points: 6/10

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And now for Rebo's Review, who is, jetting across the net once more at broadband and forever free from the AOHELL.

No splash, so let's hope the resolution holds.

Layout:
Uhhh...this isn't really much of a layout. It's simple and functional, but nothing really catching or even interesting. Spice this up, put in an image or add some table colors or something to spice this up! White background, black text, pink links...even the HR tags are basic. This is awful dull. Otherwise, everything is organized and I haven't run into any navigational problems or broken links. Thumbnails are used on image pages, thank you! Just add some color or something!

Main Page: Really, really, long. Not long with content, long because the main page has your blog on it for the past month. The scrolling needs to be broken up somehow. I'm glad you archive by month, but perhaps you need to archive more often or move this part off the main page - the point of this is to introduce your site, not your blog. You know your main page is long when two of the links in your navigation menu link to different sections of the same page.

Credit: There are credits...can't complain there.

Verses: Verses who? Oh, VERSES! A free-writing journal. Rebo-chan no baka...this page really needs to be broken up. Lots and lots of scrolling make reading it a chore, and there's entries in here from all the way back to March. The writing process, however, is quite interesting to follow...I've known people who kept journals like this and have an odd fascination with them.

Words -
Thoughts: While not out-right free-writing, these maintain a stream of consciousness styling that has started to find form. Contempt was quite interesting. Being a person prone to getting angry, this one touched a chord. I like how you've taken subjects that you liked in your blog and expanded them to this length.
Poems: I rarely see anyone put so much effort into analyzing their works, but this section shows a lot of thought. I was more interested in those than the poems, as I'm rather burnt out on that form myself. But you've divided them into artistic periods, commented on your frame of mind at the time, commented on each individually...it's very refreshing to have extra insight on your work. You've put a lot of yourself into these poems, and it shows.
Misc: Wow, you write lyrics? I can't even do that, mine always stink:P This is an interesting section - you don't seem to like throwing out anything, even RPG profiles. It keeps things varied.

Art -
Doodles: Ah, the memories - some of my best work was done in 11th grade physics class. Yours are good, maybe I should take economic theories to do better too? You used good thumbnails too, the works scanned in clearly, and are once more accompanied by your entertaining commentary.
Photos: Self-explanatory. And you really remind me of my photography loving friends, too, especially with the preference for black and white over color photography. Your photos are clear, and a quick load when I ran them through my dial-up connection. The subjects are, as you said, artsy - still, you make a lamppost look quite unique.
Skins: You know, it's not often someone can make skins entertaining, but since you still commented on these, they are.
Misc: A kiriban (no, I don't know what it means either^^;) and a flash movie. This could use some expansion, but obviously kiribans are hit-based, so I'm not expecting more of those. Still, there's only one flash movie, and while it's at least not some boring gimmick (as you used it for a class project), it's kind of bland on it's own. Thanks for the translation, by the way.

Site -
Links: Wow, this took a little while to load. You may want to split this up into sub-sections since you've decided to use linking banners for other people's sites, plus the page is pretty long...DUDE! You read MegaTokyo too?! l337 master! *ahem* The links do say a lot about you, though - first personal site I've seen that links to kimono sites.
About: About the site, and the site mistress. Cute that you gave the website itself a character-chart. In particular, the layouts section is very original - you've commented on the layout using an old copy of the layout itself. I notice you take a lot of pride in the layout being stripped down, but as it is right now, I don't see it as "minimalist" or "stripped down," just really dull. I understand why you don't use images, and I actually agree there, but at least use a little CSS coding or something to add some more color. You have a previous site designs that took this approach while still having something eye-catching to them, like the previous green layout. The article on your name was very interesting - being the word freak I am, I loved it.

Reviews: Oh, I love reading comments on reviews! I like how you gave dates and grouped the reviews by what site edition they were reviewing - it really helps to put their comments in perspective. It does bother me however how many times people pointed out the same thing I'm doing now - that the layout really needs to be kicked up. You seem to keep blowing that off in your comments. Not just the person who thought it was empty without graphics, but even people just wanting something, anything to look at, while perusing the content.

Guestbook: Dreambook's still around? Wow. This needs a bit of sprucing up too. In particular, the entries centered on the page look very isolated strange with so much white space around them in larger resolutions.

Overall:
Despite my first impression of this site, I was impressed. You have a lot going on, and have put a lot of yourself into this site. I leave knowing what kind of person made this site, what makes you tick, and also very entertained. You are not really hurting for content. Sadly, the layout betrays you - most people would leave immediately when they saw the layout. I myself, after reviewing several personal sites, immediately assumed it would be yet another boring site. The content surprised me, but I only went through because I was reviewing - most people won't. While I have to give you credit for trying a new idea, it's not working. You have talent for it, as I saw going through you archive, so I suggest playing with CSS, colors, anything to breathe a little more life into this layout. Your content shines brightly, so make it look special! A new layout and you'll easily make Eternal Dreams.

Content: 20/20 Easily the strongest aspect of this site. Even stuff I've seen before is entertaining!
First Impression: 2/5 I've elaborated before on this.
Layout: 2/5 And this as well. It's needs some more flavor.
Navigation: 5/5 Can't complain here - you said it yourself, you put ease of use as a high priority.
Originality: 12/15 Original content, unoriginal layout. At least you didn't copy or steal it, though.
Dreampoints: 8/10

chiiyo's comments :
Out of all my reviews, this was the one I was most eagerly awaiting, because of Yumemiru's big reputation. By the time their review arrived I was already knee-deep in the redesign, but I still get a lot of pointers. Amber-lin taught me to explain my references to my friends, instead of leaving them as just names. I try as much as possible to do that with this design, whilst trying not to be too long-winded... I was actually extremely happy when Amber-lin said that she thought my site was peaceful, because that was exactly what I was trying to get across... unfortunately she also felt boared, which was not good... And I really appreciate WPRs that ask two reviewers to review one website, often they provide differing points of view, and they emphasize the same points.



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